It's About Them| Restrained Whimsy Rules of Gifting


In the time it took to walk from my car to the store, my mind went blank. I went from having incredible birthday gift ideas of fragrant candles, inspiring books, and chic jewelry to … nothing as I stood staring at it all.

Thoughts raced through my mind, “This will be easy!…Is that really what you are thinking cuz’, I thought you were good at this?…You have great taste, just choose!…is that really what you chose?”

My friend lights up a room before she enters, her taste is impeccable, and her authenticity of motherhood is refreshing. Why was this so hard to find the perfect gift for her?

The first rule of gift giving is always “Think of the person and what they like. 

Sounds easy, yet after we ponder all the things we know about them, we find ourselves considering “What will they think of me?”

Spoiler Alert: Gift giving is not about us, it’s about the person receiving the gift. At its core, gift giving is an outward expression of an inward thought.

My daughter’s face radiated with overwhelming love as I opened her handmade popsicle stick frame, decorated with glitter and glued with wild abandon. It came unconditionally from her heart with me in mind.

Equally a candle whose fragrance captures the memory of being somewhere together or a bowl of popcorn made exactly the way they like it celebrates and honors who they are to us. It’s about them.

Intent is everything. Your gift celebrates the person receiving it. 

With no strings attached your gift simply says, “Hey! This is about you.”

Honestly…this is where I struggle a bit. Come on. Be honest. We all love the accolades that accompany a person opening our gift. We picture them tearing our carefully wrapped present, the joy on their face, and the comments they give us. We gush on them, they gush on us. Win-win. Right? Kind of. But if you start from a place where you need affirmation for your gift, was it really 100% about them?

Allow yourself to be got this! 

I had managed to put so much pressure on finding the “perfect gift” that I lost sight of the reason I was buying it in the first place. With a little help from the sales associate and a newfound confidence, I discovered exactly what I was looking for to celebrate my friend. Success was always an option; I just had to allow myself to embrace the moment.

Now for a quick wrap and a handmade bow (I love making these), followed by a chorus of Happy Birthday…we will celebrate and honor my friend tonight.